Parsian Mall, Karaj. Looking out through an empty shop window.

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"Can you design me a reception table?", inquired a former director. "Certainly!", I happily responded, "tell me more about what you're after?". His face shined over like a stale wax-work and our eyes remained connected while I admired his amazing life-like appearance. Such pauses normally conclude with me clicking for the Task Manager but on this occasion it wasn't necessary, "Make a table!", eventually came the response. On this occasion it was my turn to lock-up in confusion.

I might say that I'm a very unsuccessful interior designer, bloated rumours exist about my ability but in nearly a year's worth of attempts I've yet to have anything realised. These rumours led my colleagues to believe that I have a supernatural ability to foresee all the variables without consultation. "Just come up with some ideas!", they gasp, somewhat pestered by my queries. I've meditated much over these ideas, trying to presuppose every function but little enlightenment has ever arrived.

"What are you doing, no!", lambasted the director, "we are going to block that doorway!". Of course they were! Fundamental changes were needed for that fifth draft – a wall needed to be incorporated to the table design.

I also hadn't foreseen the previous job's arbitrary alterations, where I'd arrived to confirm the final measurements for a shop fitting. "Who told you to build a window here?", I harshly asked the labourer who was adding his final touches to a window that sat where my shelves were going. "Your father", the labourer meekly responded. I chose to let my father learn that I was no longer doing this job the same way he'd let me know about the window.

"he designed all of his family's buildings", my friend pitched – maybe he thought I did

The rumours have leaked further, I've reluctantly excepted an interior design project for shopping mall development – "he designed all of his family's buildings", my friend pitched – maybe he thought I did. My friend insisted on joining me for the introductory meeting, oddly leaving me with less than 5-minutes from a 3-hours episode to quiz the client. During this time he'd managed to scare the client into desiring an excessive security system of his making while repeatedly referring to me as his employee. "I want cash up-front boss", I joked following the meeting, "Don't worry about these details, just come up with some ideas – get them from the internet of something", he hushed.

Without lifting a finger I may soon become a design legend, but I feel my finger will sooner be clicking for the Task Manager. 'The program, "Iranian People" is not responding, do you want to end this task?'.

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